Asian Fever

What if I don't want strict domination

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kidstone

lap dog
Feb 5, 2006
191
0
0
I've often thought about going to a dom--a lot of the services they provide are things I want. But what puts me off are the strict demands they usually make in their ads.

You have to play this whole role of being utterly subservient and submitting to their control. But I want to meet a nice woman, smile, laugh, have some little banter, and THEN kneel down before her.

When in the actual act, yes, I want to be sub. But I don't want the whole experience to be sub.

Since the very process of asking for a sub session seems to involve an act of subservience, I've never figured out how to approach a dom to get what I want (and even there I've expressed a desire which isn't supposed to be expressed--I mean "getting what I want" isn't in the glossary for sub sessions).
 
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Aeiyah

Square peg
Jul 12, 2004
1,000
1
38
Vancouver
Most pro-dommes should be able to provide what you're looking for. As long as you are honest and open with what you want and what you don't want, you should have no problem finding someone to take your BDSM virginity. Pro-Dommes are there to make you feel good. If you are clear and precise up front, it makes the domme's job much easier. The only thing that a domme will loathe is dealing with a time-waster. In any dom/sub role, whether it's a pro-dom session or an actual lifestyle role, both the dom and sub both should set out their respective do's and don'ts before any play ever happens.
 
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lamb pooner

New member
Sep 25, 2004
11
0
1
Aeiyah said:
The only thing that a domme will loathe is dealing with a time-waster.
Click to expand...
Yup - and asking for FS (most of them anyway).

If you send your posting as an e-mail to your chosen domme, I bet you'll be pleased with the response.
 
G

_Gypsy_

New member
Nov 21, 2007
62
0
0
Surrey, British Columbia
Aeiya & lamb pooner - Well said!!

Gather your thoughts and detail what you want & need to your chosen Domme and you should find the experience you seek. It can sometimes take a couple of sessions to really get into the experience but well worth it!


Mistress Gypsy
 
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tampdown

New member
Dec 15, 2005
173
0
0
kidstone said:
I've often thought about going to a dom--a lot of the services they provide are things I want. But what puts me off are the strict demands they usually make in their ads.

You have to play this whole role of being utterly subservient and submitting to their control. But I want to meet a nice woman, smile, laugh, have some little banter, and THEN kneel down before her.

When in the actual act, yes, I want to be sub. But I don't want the whole experience to be sub.

Since the very process of asking for a sub session seems to involve an act of subservience, I've never figured out how to approach a dom to get what I want (and even there I've expressed a desire which isn't supposed to be expressed--I mean "getting what I want" isn't in the glossary for sub sessions).
Click to expand...

My experience is that pro-dommes are actually real people, and don't come in a cookie-cutter domme shape. The pro-dommes that I know in Vancouver are all different people with different personalities. Few, if any, are the real "bitchy" strict hard line types (even though that impression might be given in an ad). Just be pleasant and polite and enquire as to what you are looking for. Ultimately, most pro-dommes know it is a "service" and it's therefore important to "cater" to the needs of the sub/client.

I think your still going to have to try a few different pro-dommes to find what your really looking for and whether your desires and her approach connent.

tamp
 
PuntMeister

PuntMeister

Punt-on!
Jul 13, 2003
1,921
867
113
In my humble experiences, I find the thing that dommes find the most frustrating is clients that cannot articulate what the hell it is they want. If you want to be tied to the shower curtain with dirty pantyhose, than for god's sakes say it! The "I just want to have a fun time and serve you" doesn't quite give the guidance needed for an honest fullfilling session.

Step one: stand in front of mirror and say to only yourself your heart's desire.

Step two: memorize the words and visualize yourself saying your inner secrets to a domme.

Step three: call a domme of your choice.

Step four: tell her openly and honestly what you want. In advance and in person.

This is honesty. This is fullfillment. This is life.

Embrace your kink.

-Puntmeister.
 
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kidstone

lap dog
Feb 5, 2006
191
0
0
The few times I've sent emails to dommes, I've essentially asked to be considered for the possibility of some session. And listed some of the things I'm interested in.

I figured if they wanted to reply, then I would get into more detail about what I envisioned. Also I don't always know how much a session costs. I don't want to send an initial email talking about cost per session, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking I shouldn't say I want all of these things in one session, because then it could be a high price session. And my first time maybe I just want to try one thing. So my initial emails have been tentative enquiries.

Yet these emails have never gotten a response. So I must have done something wrong.

However I have gotten a few invitations as a result of this topic, so don't worry about me too much. When I'm ready to make the call, I know a few providers I'd like to contact, now. I'm just considering what I want to do and with who.
 
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