...i'm on the horns on enema (thank you to the poster in some other thread of mine who corrected me on that....i think was on the horns of a llama...anyway, i got it wrong.
So...how the fuck to do this?...thought process...plus I've had a really cool summer...ummm...i'm drinking...and, big mistake, i took a hoot in the garage when that was presented. This will be sort of trying to recapture the cooltoshitty thoughts I've been having whilst listening to awesome tunes, turned up loud, and, having a few more beers on the way. It will likely deteriorate as time and beer go on. So...this will be a ramble.
fuck it...going out for a smoke.
o.k...the smoke sucked, stupid habit. Drinking to excess, more enjoyable but equally destructive. Being lazy, please shoot me. I know I've been guilty of that far more often that I care to admit. Different ramble and, oh yes, regardless of commentary to this post, the beer will seize my hand and lead me down the most amazing rant path. I love ranting. It's so cool to have the type of friend with whom you can share a most enlightening rant. Negatives rants suck.
O.k...now we know eddie's pissed and stoned. Good. This is fun but I'm not sure if i'll push the send button yet...see how it goes....
another smoke...waittt..the other half.
to the point. Three months ago i joined collarme...maybe 5 months?...dunno, don't matter. Met an incredible amount of players, but met some really cool ones too. I was invited and accepted an invitation to join the local BDSM community and gratefully accepted. Met for coffee...blah blah blah..."you don't have three eyes and i have a small dick"...perfect. So, the comfort level grows and the invitation extended...very cool. Went to a munch/exhibit thing at T/their behest...and it was kinda cool. Some guy out of Vancouver...and sorry "Some guy"...anyway, he REALLY knows what he's talking about....the guy with "the creature"...too lazy to look it up...but he's a smart dude.
All in all, it was an interesting experience and I could see getting into this lifestyle in a pretty big way....i have "zero" experience as a live in slave to a competent Domme...but...wow, that notion does appeal. In my mind, the sub/slave helps the Domme as much as vice versa. I need serious correction for my bad habits and a refocus on not being lazy. I am 48 years old, pretty happy, two daughters that love me, and I have a cool little gig going doing things I enjoy doing. I intend to share that gig. But, I need that extra kick.
Back to the collarme....met two very interesting Tops from that...one..absolutely amazing...the other...totally cool. Still, they obviously become number one and number two in my head and I've been nothing but honest about that with number two. And so it goes...so, i'm chasing number one and number two is chasing me....I will meet with number one tomorrow night...i've already sent her the big mail thingy about needing clarity...it was long winded and well written. (tks Penny for that review). I suspect she is only requesting this meeting so that she can tell me in person that my proposal is inadequate. What a long winded way to say she's going to tell me to fuck off. I hope that doesn't happen, but I've prepared that it will. I don't think I'll do the "friends" thing, I have enough baggage without adding that. In my head, any long term relationship requires that clarity...and my interpretation of BDSM is that the best relationships are mutually supportive. The rest is just the fun part....clarification of rules. I would love to be able to say daily how much i adore her...kiss her feet when she enters or leaves....make her dinner....wash her clothing....clean her dust...do the windows...in return...i get the requirement to stop smoking...stop drinking....pack some money away that's unfettered. Simple rules and absolute requirements for continuance. And, having said all that shit, i have NO idea what her requirements might be....I only know that she trusts me enough to request them of me.
another smoke...
fuck, this reads like an advertisement. Maybe it is...I've met some absolutely wonderful people off of here....I've only ever been with Miss T, an unnamed disappointment, and Penny. But, I have totally enjoyed the thought process of so many. I want to meet with Avarice because she just looks so amazingly hot and her reply to my pm inquiry was clear and wicked cool. Didn't happen, she put family first and that's a smart chick.
Miss T, I've typed a thousand? words on your praises. No more required....Daymo, I am happy for you...envious?...no...just happy. You are on, what I think, would be a pretty cool journey. Miss T's competence is apparent and amazing to behold.
Beautiful Anna, you fucking rock. I love the way you think and how you post. Obviously I have the advantage of seeing your pictures and holy shit do you keep yourself in shape along with some pretty good genes. But, who cares, it's the mind that rocks and it's a funny one Anna. I could most definitely see getting old with someone like you. I have no higher praise.
Penny, you are just plain fun. Even America's favourite doctor even wrote me a letter singing your praises. I wish you would put your place into red and take that plunge. So many cool people on here I think...You are cool...it's Pareto's Law, 80% of the general population is filled with some pretty interesting people...this board is no different. Don't stick your ass out there....but make the board aware of the girls you have. They should expect nothing less and, having said that, you fucking rock Penny. I won't say a girl would be lucky to work there, but that's only because your name is not in red.
I have left no one out on that. Tianna almost made the full blown commentary but I think the llama dumped her. I've had various encounters on posts and, sometimes, in the chat thingy and they have all been pretty cool. Some way sucked, but they were fun if only for that reason. Gotta love the 20%.
Something will happen tomorrow. I will get dumped....or get put off....or get accepted by number one. I very much doubt that i am accepted...she's a pretty smart chick and she understands the emotional connection that needs to exist. My fear is that i will be "put off". In fact, I know I will be. And, I would put me off to be truthful. Don't just talk about x...make x happen. Hopefully gives me some positive tasks at least. If not, then i have clarity.
So, then comes number two. I will request another week to grieve the loss of number one and to just make damn sure I'm ready to enter into something like this with her. I suspect I will lose them both. I remember cleaning up after an event...and talking openly with a Top...and she said....never settle.
Those are two tough words.
eddie.
So...how the fuck to do this?...thought process...plus I've had a really cool summer...ummm...i'm drinking...and, big mistake, i took a hoot in the garage when that was presented. This will be sort of trying to recapture the cooltoshitty thoughts I've been having whilst listening to awesome tunes, turned up loud, and, having a few more beers on the way. It will likely deteriorate as time and beer go on. So...this will be a ramble.
fuck it...going out for a smoke.
o.k...the smoke sucked, stupid habit. Drinking to excess, more enjoyable but equally destructive. Being lazy, please shoot me. I know I've been guilty of that far more often that I care to admit. Different ramble and, oh yes, regardless of commentary to this post, the beer will seize my hand and lead me down the most amazing rant path. I love ranting. It's so cool to have the type of friend with whom you can share a most enlightening rant. Negatives rants suck.
O.k...now we know eddie's pissed and stoned. Good. This is fun but I'm not sure if i'll push the send button yet...see how it goes....
another smoke...waittt..the other half.
to the point. Three months ago i joined collarme...maybe 5 months?...dunno, don't matter. Met an incredible amount of players, but met some really cool ones too. I was invited and accepted an invitation to join the local BDSM community and gratefully accepted. Met for coffee...blah blah blah..."you don't have three eyes and i have a small dick"...perfect. So, the comfort level grows and the invitation extended...very cool. Went to a munch/exhibit thing at T/their behest...and it was kinda cool. Some guy out of Vancouver...and sorry "Some guy"...anyway, he REALLY knows what he's talking about....the guy with "the creature"...too lazy to look it up...but he's a smart dude.
All in all, it was an interesting experience and I could see getting into this lifestyle in a pretty big way....i have "zero" experience as a live in slave to a competent Domme...but...wow, that notion does appeal. In my mind, the sub/slave helps the Domme as much as vice versa. I need serious correction for my bad habits and a refocus on not being lazy. I am 48 years old, pretty happy, two daughters that love me, and I have a cool little gig going doing things I enjoy doing. I intend to share that gig. But, I need that extra kick.
Back to the collarme....met two very interesting Tops from that...one..absolutely amazing...the other...totally cool. Still, they obviously become number one and number two in my head and I've been nothing but honest about that with number two. And so it goes...so, i'm chasing number one and number two is chasing me....I will meet with number one tomorrow night...i've already sent her the big mail thingy about needing clarity...it was long winded and well written. (tks Penny for that review). I suspect she is only requesting this meeting so that she can tell me in person that my proposal is inadequate. What a long winded way to say she's going to tell me to fuck off. I hope that doesn't happen, but I've prepared that it will. I don't think I'll do the "friends" thing, I have enough baggage without adding that. In my head, any long term relationship requires that clarity...and my interpretation of BDSM is that the best relationships are mutually supportive. The rest is just the fun part....clarification of rules. I would love to be able to say daily how much i adore her...kiss her feet when she enters or leaves....make her dinner....wash her clothing....clean her dust...do the windows...in return...i get the requirement to stop smoking...stop drinking....pack some money away that's unfettered. Simple rules and absolute requirements for continuance. And, having said all that shit, i have NO idea what her requirements might be....I only know that she trusts me enough to request them of me.
another smoke...
fuck, this reads like an advertisement. Maybe it is...I've met some absolutely wonderful people off of here....I've only ever been with Miss T, an unnamed disappointment, and Penny. But, I have totally enjoyed the thought process of so many. I want to meet with Avarice because she just looks so amazingly hot and her reply to my pm inquiry was clear and wicked cool. Didn't happen, she put family first and that's a smart chick.
Miss T, I've typed a thousand? words on your praises. No more required....Daymo, I am happy for you...envious?...no...just happy. You are on, what I think, would be a pretty cool journey. Miss T's competence is apparent and amazing to behold.
Beautiful Anna, you fucking rock. I love the way you think and how you post. Obviously I have the advantage of seeing your pictures and holy shit do you keep yourself in shape along with some pretty good genes. But, who cares, it's the mind that rocks and it's a funny one Anna. I could most definitely see getting old with someone like you. I have no higher praise.
Penny, you are just plain fun. Even America's favourite doctor even wrote me a letter singing your praises. I wish you would put your place into red and take that plunge. So many cool people on here I think...You are cool...it's Pareto's Law, 80% of the general population is filled with some pretty interesting people...this board is no different. Don't stick your ass out there....but make the board aware of the girls you have. They should expect nothing less and, having said that, you fucking rock Penny. I won't say a girl would be lucky to work there, but that's only because your name is not in red.
I have left no one out on that. Tianna almost made the full blown commentary but I think the llama dumped her. I've had various encounters on posts and, sometimes, in the chat thingy and they have all been pretty cool. Some way sucked, but they were fun if only for that reason. Gotta love the 20%.
Something will happen tomorrow. I will get dumped....or get put off....or get accepted by number one. I very much doubt that i am accepted...she's a pretty smart chick and she understands the emotional connection that needs to exist. My fear is that i will be "put off". In fact, I know I will be. And, I would put me off to be truthful. Don't just talk about x...make x happen. Hopefully gives me some positive tasks at least. If not, then i have clarity.
So, then comes number two. I will request another week to grieve the loss of number one and to just make damn sure I'm ready to enter into something like this with her. I suspect I will lose them both. I remember cleaning up after an event...and talking openly with a Top...and she said....never settle.
Those are two tough words.
eddie.