Asian Fever

as kelly bundy would say...

edmontonsubbie

Edmontonsubbie
Apr 22, 2006
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uh...Edmonton.
...i'm on the horns on enema (thank you to the poster in some other thread of mine who corrected me on that....i think was on the horns of a llama...anyway, i got it wrong.

So...how the fuck to do this?...thought process...plus I've had a really cool summer...ummm...i'm drinking...and, big mistake, i took a hoot in the garage when that was presented. This will be sort of trying to recapture the cooltoshitty thoughts I've been having whilst listening to awesome tunes, turned up loud, and, having a few more beers on the way. It will likely deteriorate as time and beer go on. So...this will be a ramble.

fuck it...going out for a smoke.

o.k...the smoke sucked, stupid habit. Drinking to excess, more enjoyable but equally destructive. Being lazy, please shoot me. I know I've been guilty of that far more often that I care to admit. Different ramble and, oh yes, regardless of commentary to this post, the beer will seize my hand and lead me down the most amazing rant path. I love ranting. It's so cool to have the type of friend with whom you can share a most enlightening rant. Negatives rants suck.

O.k...now we know eddie's pissed and stoned. Good. This is fun but I'm not sure if i'll push the send button yet...see how it goes....

another smoke...waittt..the other half.

to the point. Three months ago i joined collarme...maybe 5 months?...dunno, don't matter. Met an incredible amount of players, but met some really cool ones too. I was invited and accepted an invitation to join the local BDSM community and gratefully accepted. Met for coffee...blah blah blah..."you don't have three eyes and i have a small dick"...perfect. So, the comfort level grows and the invitation extended...very cool. Went to a munch/exhibit thing at T/their behest...and it was kinda cool. Some guy out of Vancouver...and sorry "Some guy"...anyway, he REALLY knows what he's talking about....the guy with "the creature"...too lazy to look it up...but he's a smart dude.

All in all, it was an interesting experience and I could see getting into this lifestyle in a pretty big way....i have "zero" experience as a live in slave to a competent Domme...but...wow, that notion does appeal. In my mind, the sub/slave helps the Domme as much as vice versa. I need serious correction for my bad habits and a refocus on not being lazy. I am 48 years old, pretty happy, two daughters that love me, and I have a cool little gig going doing things I enjoy doing. I intend to share that gig. But, I need that extra kick.

Back to the collarme....met two very interesting Tops from that...one..absolutely amazing...the other...totally cool. Still, they obviously become number one and number two in my head and I've been nothing but honest about that with number two. And so it goes...so, i'm chasing number one and number two is chasing me....I will meet with number one tomorrow night...i've already sent her the big mail thingy about needing clarity...it was long winded and well written. (tks Penny for that review). I suspect she is only requesting this meeting so that she can tell me in person that my proposal is inadequate. What a long winded way to say she's going to tell me to fuck off. I hope that doesn't happen, but I've prepared that it will. I don't think I'll do the "friends" thing, I have enough baggage without adding that. In my head, any long term relationship requires that clarity...and my interpretation of BDSM is that the best relationships are mutually supportive. The rest is just the fun part....clarification of rules. I would love to be able to say daily how much i adore her...kiss her feet when she enters or leaves....make her dinner....wash her clothing....clean her dust...do the windows...in return...i get the requirement to stop smoking...stop drinking....pack some money away that's unfettered. Simple rules and absolute requirements for continuance. And, having said all that shit, i have NO idea what her requirements might be....I only know that she trusts me enough to request them of me.

another smoke...

fuck, this reads like an advertisement. Maybe it is...I've met some absolutely wonderful people off of here....I've only ever been with Miss T, an unnamed disappointment, and Penny. But, I have totally enjoyed the thought process of so many. I want to meet with Avarice because she just looks so amazingly hot and her reply to my pm inquiry was clear and wicked cool. Didn't happen, she put family first and that's a smart chick.

Miss T, I've typed a thousand? words on your praises. No more required....Daymo, I am happy for you...envious?...no...just happy. You are on, what I think, would be a pretty cool journey. Miss T's competence is apparent and amazing to behold.

Beautiful Anna, you fucking rock. I love the way you think and how you post. Obviously I have the advantage of seeing your pictures and holy shit do you keep yourself in shape along with some pretty good genes. But, who cares, it's the mind that rocks and it's a funny one Anna. I could most definitely see getting old with someone like you. I have no higher praise.

Penny, you are just plain fun. Even America's favourite doctor even wrote me a letter singing your praises. I wish you would put your place into red and take that plunge. So many cool people on here I think...You are cool...it's Pareto's Law, 80% of the general population is filled with some pretty interesting people...this board is no different. Don't stick your ass out there....but make the board aware of the girls you have. They should expect nothing less and, having said that, you fucking rock Penny. I won't say a girl would be lucky to work there, but that's only because your name is not in red.

I have left no one out on that. Tianna almost made the full blown commentary but I think the llama dumped her. I've had various encounters on posts and, sometimes, in the chat thingy and they have all been pretty cool. Some way sucked, but they were fun if only for that reason. Gotta love the 20%.

Something will happen tomorrow. I will get dumped....or get put off....or get accepted by number one. I very much doubt that i am accepted...she's a pretty smart chick and she understands the emotional connection that needs to exist. My fear is that i will be "put off". In fact, I know I will be. And, I would put me off to be truthful. Don't just talk about x...make x happen. Hopefully gives me some positive tasks at least. If not, then i have clarity.

So, then comes number two. I will request another week to grieve the loss of number one and to just make damn sure I'm ready to enter into something like this with her. I suspect I will lose them both. I remember cleaning up after an event...and talking openly with a Top...and she said....never settle.

Those are two tough words.

eddie.
 

PuntMeister

Punt-on!
Jul 13, 2003
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Eddie,

Very touching actually. I appreciate an honest rant. Good wishes for you on your journey. I can offer but one of may favourite quotes. It inspires me in times of uncertainty, when circumstances require a little courage and a long range perspective. I think it was byTheodore Roosevelt....

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. "

Hey, works for me!
 

edmontonsubbie

Edmontonsubbie
Apr 22, 2006
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uh...Edmonton.
and...

...it now works for me. Very succinct and most excellent summary...as most good quotes are. I so suck at quotes as my memory just doesn't have that sort of capacity...but I remember seeing a cool one by Martin Luther King flashing across the t.v. directory scroll thingy..it was something like..."fear not the words of your enemies so much as the disappointment caused by the silence of your friends".

Tonight is my big night...lol. I will make book on this....I am currently extending 1:1 odds on being "put off"....2:1 on being told to "fuck off"....and 8:1 on being "taken on"....I can accept bets in denominations and multiples of $20. No personal cheques, no credit cards, and if the ink is not dry on the $20, that is not acceptable either.

Ladies and Gentlemen....place your bets!...o.k...that was supposed to sound like "start your engines"...but, it will have to do.

Have a wonderful day each and all,

eddie.
 

edmontonsubbie

Edmontonsubbie
Apr 22, 2006
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uh...Edmonton.
o.k...

...so the bet returns 1.5:1 :( ....there was a little discussion of the "stay friends" deal....some very open discussion about her current baggage....I knew all this but had hoped to present a more interesting alternative. She will return back east as she intensely dislikes Edmonton and it's weather. I find that point quite hard to argue...at least on the weather side of things. There was frikking frost on the pumpkin this morning...geeeze.

So, that's a done deal. I told her I would help her with whatever she needed but that I thought she had a pretty good support network and that I would prefer not to be called on. Still, she's a cool friend and an awesome person...so I would always help someone like that. I doubt I will hear from her again.

Which leaves me with number two. I believe I will take the week to get over this. I will clean up my own act on smoking and drinking (effective tomorrow as I'm going to kill this 1/2 deck of smokes and those last 6 beer in the fridge) and I will be on site by 7:00 a.m. tomorrow. It is good that I have enough work to stay busy and I will concentrate on that. At this point in my life, I don't really have an interest in getting with someone and sharing very emotional things without the intention of moving it forward. I know my patterns. I've been wrong a thousand times but.... some things i just know...

O.k....so I'm using this as a "Dear Whatever" column, but what the hell. There are few places you can openly discuss BDSM and matters of the heart. This is one of them.

eddie.
 

hidden gem

New member
Feb 22, 2007
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uh....

wow, I'm emotionally exhausted just reading that!
I guess I can't invite you for a beer anymore....
 

edmontonsubbie

Edmontonsubbie
Apr 22, 2006
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uh...Edmonton.
lol!!!!

wow, I'm emotionally exhausted just reading that!
I guess I can't invite you for a beer anymore....
...i would never turn down a beer with you...i fully intend to have my usual social life....even if it kinda sucks. One of life's greatest pleasures is having a few with friends....I'm hardly going to let go of that. But, I won't do windows after the first beer is opened...I have my limits.

eddie.
 

edmontonsubbie

Edmontonsubbie
Apr 22, 2006
1,307
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uh...Edmonton.
well....

Eddie,

my only opinion on this matter:

YOU SMOKE TOO MUCH! :p

Ava.
...better to have smoked too much than never to have smoked at all....next time it's offered, i'll turn my ball cap backwards and go...yo. O.k. I won't...but only because I don't wear ballcaps.

have a wonderful day this day!

eddie.
 

PuntMeister

Punt-on!
Jul 13, 2003
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Rofl

...better to have smoked too much than never to have smoked at all....next time it's offered, i'll turn my ball cap backwards and go...yo. O.k. I won't...but only because I don't wear ballcaps.

have a wonderful day this day!

eddie.
Oh my Eddie, I am ROFLMFAO! U R 2 Sick! Ooooops, had my cap on backwards..... and for a moment there I thought I was 19 and knew how to text message my posse or something!

Nice come-back Ed-ster. I hope the halloween party is a go so we can both dress up as clowns and scare the little girlies. That would be fun.

Now quit that disgusting habit of yours! I know you can, because all kinsters have incredible determination once they set their mind to something, so I can only conclude you don't want to. You are intelligent, and don't need the nicotine crutch. But beer may be another story, especially if you like fishing as much as I do.

Namaste ;)
 

edmontonsubbie

Edmontonsubbie
Apr 22, 2006
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uh...Edmonton.
lol...thanks Punster...

Oh my Eddie, I am ROFLMFAO! U R 2 Sick! Ooooops, had my cap on backwards..... and for a moment there I thought I was 19 and knew how to text message my posse or something!

Nice come-back Ed-ster. I hope the halloween party is a go so we can both dress up as clowns and scare the little girlies. That would be fun.

Now quit that disgusting habit of yours! I know you can, because all kinsters have incredible determination once they set their mind to something, so I can only conclude you don't want to. You are intelligent, and don't need the nicotine crutch. But beer may be another story, especially if you like fishing as much as I do.

Namaste ;)
for starting my day off with a large smile. After checking my email box for non existent messages from those that I had hoped to find one from, it was a treat to see this note.

The ciggy smoking is gone...I just had to do that monday evening cleanup of the 6 pack and the half deck. I think Ava meant the latin lettuce anyway. I am using the patches but I can feel my energy returning and I am accomplishing far more work as a result. I was asked to hang cabinets in 15 new houses this week....which was nice but not my field of expertise...obviously they are desperate....i passed the note on to one of my homeboys and told the crib owner he would do no disrespect to them.

Halloween party???...what the hell? When? Where? wait...scratch the when question...duh. Will there be beer? And girlies too??? Wow, i love Vancouver.

By the way punt...I noticed this notice....

Gone 'til Oct 12th

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just so you know why I won't be picking up messages or answering my phone, I'm out of town until October 12th.

Hope to see you then!
__________________
Beautiful Anna
778-991-3452
www.beautifulanna.com


...come on now...did you scare Her away???....perhaps she's picking up odd new toys?....oh wait...now I remember!....she's visiting Edmonton and helping me design my new subspace here....*slaps forehead*...I have such a crappy memory...

Namaste and...have the most perfect of days,

eduardo .
 
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