Dilemma

Maury Beniowski

Blastocyst
Mar 31, 2004
1,869
1
0
In a nice wet pussy!
I have a trusted friend whose girlfriend is in the business. He just helps her manage her finances; she keeps all the money, but needs help with her extensive credit commitments. IOW, she has a healthy slot machine and spending appetite, but needed someone to keep track of and get her taxes and bills paid on time.

He's been doing this for quite a few years now, and yes, they live and sleep together. They have a "trust" agreement which commits both parties to practice safe sex outside of their relationship. Fair enough. On a recent occasion, he came in to their condo, and she was in session with a client. He didn't know this at the time, but heard shower noises, so he gingerly looked carefully around the open bathroom door. They didn't see him, and he was going to back away and leave, but what he saw reflected in the mirror shook him. His SO was giving this old guy a BBBJ followed by his uncovered DATY, and other risky behaviour.

He confronted her when he returned later, and she vehemently denied the whole thing. She went off the deep end when he related accurate details of what he saw. She then did an about face, and began over-exaggerating and claiming that she did this with everybody, and that's what customers wanted nowadays. Needless to say, the relationship is heading south, and is now on thin ice.

Right now, he's only told her that this must stop immediately. I didn't know what to tell him at first, but did relate my own pooning experiences, where at times the fury of the experience led one to consider throwing caution to the wind, "especially" in attended showers. Through persistent prodding some ladies will let down their guard, and submit to riskier activities. He followed my advice, and asked her to avoid showers of this nature, to which she agreed, and get herself tested. Many discussions will follow, I'm sure. However, how can he be certain of her compliance when the trust has already been broken?

This creates a paradoxical situation where trust needs to be rebuilt on top of a very shaky foundation. I'm sure this situation is probably more common that many would care to admit, but it needs to be addressed in the interest of public safety. What do you guys think?

I'm putting this out for an intelligent discussion, so put some thought into your responses, and avoid wisecracks.
 

D.W.B

Banned
Feb 18, 2005
240
0
0
Gone
The fact that she would partake in high risk behavior at work and not tell her partner before having unprotected sex with him would be a deal breaker for me.

Her initial response was to lie and deny it then justify her behavior by putting a monetary spin on it.

Just idea that she would be so deceitful as to put her so's life in jeopardy for a few extra bucks then lie about it to his face is disgusting and speaks volumes about the type of person she is.

I would totally abstain or least insist on condoms for all future sexual contact with her until they both get tested and they have a chance to figure out wtf they are going to do as far as their relationship is concerned.
 

freakychef

Unregistered Abuser
Apr 23, 2003
727
2
0
53
In my own imagination!!
Thing is she is an sp and no matter............

..........what happens everybody gets caught up in the moment sometimes during sex. Obviously she is an sp for various reasons. On some level she probably loves sex she, herself got caught up in the moment leading to the riskier behaviour. Having socially dated a few sp's I know the trials and tribulations of this kinda relationship. Absolutely get tested regularilly, but reality is if she aggrees to suspend such activities can you trust that she will???? If you really lover her then ya gotta have some faith and trust which is super hard!!!!!
 

wilde

Sinnear Member
Jun 4, 2003
3,019
25
48
At what point will the guy in question comes to the realization that fool me once, shame on her; fool me.........



.
 

jimbo2006

New member
Jun 12, 2006
541
0
0
The fact that she would partake in high risk behavior at work and not tell her partner before having unprotected sex with him would be a deal breaker for me.

Her initial response was to lie and deny it then justify her behavior by putting a monetary spin on it.

Just idea that she would be so deceitful as to put her so's life in jeopardy for a few extra bucks then lie about it to his face is disgusting and speaks volumes about the type of person she is.

I would totally abstain or least insist on condoms for all future sexual contact with her until they both get tested and they have a chance to figure out wtf they are going to do as far as their relationship is concerned.
Totally agree. Cut her loose

:D :D
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stryker

Banned
Jan 23, 2004
1,954
4
0
119
In your dreams
hitman.us
The fact that she would partake in high risk behavior at work and not tell her partner before having unprotected sex with him would be a deal breaker for me.

Her initial response was to lie and deny it then justify her behavior by putting a monetary spin on it.

Just idea that she would be so deceitful as to put her so's life in jeopardy for a few extra bucks then lie about it to his face is disgusting and speaks volumes about the type of person she is.
DW,,I have to agree 100%
It tough enough dating/living with a ladyworking in this business,let alone trying to carry on a relationship.
Trust is the one thing that I would consider "golden",,,,,,If you break that,your relationship is in turmoil.
 

Yackityyak

New member
Sep 11, 2006
24
0
1
Time to move on

I sympathize with your buddy. Been there,:( done that. Once the trust has been broken, there's no going back. Being in a relationship with an SP takes an extra degree of trust and understanding. If she doesn't understand that and breaches that trust, it's done. It's now a health issue. Tell your bro to move on. It's over. May take a month, may take a year, but it's over.
 

georgebushmoron

jus call me MR. President
Mar 25, 2003
3,130
2
0
54
Seattle
I'm dating an SP. The situation of unprotected sex has come up, and the way we've dealt with it is similar: no unprotected oral (and unprotected FS, of course). Similarly, no kissing. This is the rule and if it is broken, it's understood that the relationship must end. I have certainly had my share of suspicions as to whether or not she violates that rule. Naive people believe that once someone says something, it should be taken on word and trusted. This is ridiculous regardless of whether it is an SP relationship or other.

That being said, in a relationship where emotions are built up, commitments are being made, etc., it is very difficult to kill the relationship upon the breaking of a rule. Most couples in situations where a rule of trust has been broken try to resume the relationship because they feel it is worth it. I would not council your friend to break up with her outright.

In developing trust with someone, it is impossible to be wherever that person is, constantly monitoring their activities. It is fruitless and should one engage in such behaviour, would eat at that person's well being like a cancer. Instead, trust is built not upon somebody's word, nor is it built on the other extreme by constant surveillance, but upon understanding the character of the person to be trusted. Use the SP's character to realise if the person is trustworthy, thus your friend should examine her character.

There is no way to be sure an SP-GF is violating the rules. However, here was her behaviour in your own words: "she vehemently denied the whole thing. She went off the deep end when he related accurate details of what he saw. She then did an about face, and began over-exaggerating and claiming that she did this with everybody, and that's what customers wanted nowadays". That is a telling description of her character. I use situations where someone is backed into a wall, or caught red-handed, as an opportunity to see the real person in action. In this case, it appears that this SP is one who tends to not take full responsibility for her actions - and at best blaming economic pressure for "forcing" her into unsafe activity.

Looking further still, we find that your friend is financially supporting her and her gambling habits which have put her into a lot of debt. So overall, the situation is clearly that to support her gambling and fast lifestyle, she sells her body. I will not make any value judgements on how she wishes to live her life, however, this is not the kind of person that I would consider at all very level-headed, responsible, truthful, or for that matter trustworthy.

There is thus no need to take her at her word in establishing trust. Her word has no meaning because she lives a life of lies. Your friend, who has decided to financially support her, aside from re-examining his relationship with her, really ought to examine his own personality for why he would hand over his money to a person in such a situation.

The problem is not her. She's dug herself deep into her own grave and only she can save herself, if possible. It is already clear your friend is not likely going to be her saviour. The real problem is your friend. If I were you, I would council him to correct his life, not in saving his relationship with her.
 

FuZzYknUckLeS

Monkey Abuser
May 11, 2005
2,215
0
0
Schmocation
You all know what YOU have done with an SP. Isn't it a bit naive to think that others don't have the same experiences as you? Do you really think that your SP girlfriend is 'different' than all the others? I've known several SP's in my life on a friendly basis, and a common thread among them: they all admitted to making concessions "for the cute guy".
I too used to date an SP until the day I woke up and realized that I really didn't need the self-abuse anymore. I think that ANY guy that dates an SP has to take a step back and take a good look at himself.

But then, that's just me. ;)
 
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