So I ended my relationship with my "regular" SP today....

curmudgeon

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Aug 16, 2003
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So I ended my "relationship" with my regular SP today.

Feel both a little sad, and alot relieved.

Here's the backgrounder....

I saw her for the first time back in December of 2004. We connected immediately. Great personal chemistry. Great sex. She was working for an agency at the time, and I saw her a couple times more before she gave me her personal phone number. After that, she insisted that I call her directly and she'd see me for outcalls at home.

But thats where the difficulty began. When she was working incalls at the agency, everything was fine. But when seeing her privately, she was *ALWAYS* late, and extremely unreliable.

How unreliable?

Well, out of every 3 dates:

  1. all (and I mean *ALL*) would be late. 2 hours late was typical, 1 hour late was her personal best.
  2. 1 out of 3 would be rescheduled for another day, and this rescheduled date would very frequently be rescheduled yet again (sometimes 3-4 times more before we finally get together)
  3. 1 out of 3 would be a no-show with no explaination

Now, I never had a problem with late appointments, or rescheduled appointments, as long as she called and kept me informed. It's the real world, shit happens, sometimes you just can't make things work. But it drove me nuts would she would no-show with no explanation, or when she was late, and she wasn't picking up the phone when I called to ask if there was a problem.

Setting up a date was always a chore. I'd call her and leave her messages repeatedly, often for a week or two before she finally replied to confirm a date.

A couple of weeks ago, after repeated messages and no replies, I managed to catch her on the phone, and she gave me her latest tale of personal crisis. She's always in a crisis of some kind. I don't think she was lying, or trying to be a drama queen. She's horribly disorganized, so the perpetual state of crisis is entirely possible and probable.

But not 5 minutes into the conversation, she tells me "Can I call you back in 10 minutes?" and then she hangs up.

Uh-huh...

I've heard those words from her probably 200 times in the last 2 years, she's actually called back 2, maybe 3 times.

Today, same thing happened. I called her, caught her live, and the first words from her were.

"Can I call you back? I'll call you *RIGHT* back." Click.

Waited all day. No call back. Nothing.

And that was it. I'd had enough.


I really liked her. I always gave her the benefit of the doubt. And I always treated her well, better than I ever treated my last girlfriend, in fact.

Truth be told, I had real feelings for this girl. Every time she told me about her latest crisis, I'd offer to help. I offered do anything within my means to help her, and I never expected anything in return. I did, in fact, loan her money just 6 months ago, and to her credit, she did pay me back in full.

But I've had enough of the waste-of-time stuff. The repeated calls with no reply. The "I'll call you back" stuff where she almost never would.



We've had a good "relationship" for the last 2 years. I saw very few other girls during this time, only after I'd tried calling her for weeks, and not gotten a response.

But it's done now. So here I am, feeling sad, but also feeling at peace. It feels kinda like the feeling of ending a poisonous relationship.

Why am I rambling about this? I dunno. I guess I just had to get it off my chest.

So here's a question for the Perbites and Perbettes:

If you have a regular SP (for the girls, if you have a regular client), how long should it take to respond to a request for a date? A couple of days? A week?

I realize that this business is filled with no-shows and late appointments (on both sides), but if you have a "regular arrangement", would you not expect a reasonable turn around time?

If a regular calls an SP, and the SP knows she's going to be unavailable for a few weeks (because she's booked up, or expects to be going out of town for a while), is it too much to expect a reply to the regular, informing him that you're going to be unavailable for the next couple of weeks?
 

athaire

Inactive Pooner
Aug 18, 2006
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Not to much

to expect that being a regular you get the benefit of the phone call back asap on her part. You of course would also be required to do same. Sounds like you did the right thing and should maybe cruise alittle and see whats out there before trying again for a steady thing.
I fully expect to hear back within a week of contact for an appointment regardless of who I contact. I try and set things up in advance to avoid any problems on Date Day......:D
Of course shit happens but hey so far so good.
Sorry that things didn't work out for ya.
 

westwoody

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
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It sounds like she wasn't really into seeing you.
 

expedition

New member
Mar 12, 2006
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You're looking some level of comittment in a business that is based on "no strings attached." Not suprising that there are a lot of flakey people, even if nice ones, in it.
 

curmudgeon

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Aug 16, 2003
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westwoody said:
It sounds like she wasn't really into seeing you.
You might be right. But to be honest, I think the reality was, she's wasnt really "into" seeing anyone.

I mentioned that she was working for an agency when we met. Shortly after she started seeing me privately, she left the agency, and was only seeing her regulars. If what she said was true, she only had a very small handful of regulars.

In the year and half that transpired, she's gone through several "real-world" jobs (and quit each after just a few months), gone back the agency for a week or so at a time (in order to deal with financial issues), then went back to being unemployed. She's back at the agency now.

She was always very happy to tell me about the new job she's gotten, and always very sad to tell me she'd quit the job and gone back to the agency.

Seemed she only went back to the working girl thing when she needed the money. And I suppose that's what I was to her as well.

She would tell me things, private things about her personal life, that I had a hard time believing that she told others. She's been reviewed on these boards before, and others have described her as chatty and cheerful. She was like that with me too, but she'd also tell me about her problems and troubles. All her problems and troubles.

So because it seemed I was getting more personal information, I presumed it meant she trusted me on a certain level. It always felt that way when we talked. And we talked alot.

She admantly insisted that I should not visit her at the agency. That I should call her and set up the appointment privately. That would have been just fine, if she'd return the calls.

The funny thing is, even if you factor in the agency's "cut" of the donations (and the agency's fees and what not) once you factor in the all the no-shows, she would have made more money from me if she'd let me see her at the agency. :p
 

FuZzYknUckLeS

Monkey Abuser
May 11, 2005
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Maybe guys that refer to her sessions with them as a 'relationship' freak her out and make her want to avoid them?
IDK.
Just a guess. ;)
 

realslimshady

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Sep 1, 2004
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Doormat ... don't be one!

One thing I learned about relationship ... with SPs or otherwise, is that if you make the other feel like she can walk all over you. It's over. Some guys (i.e. me ... I am smarter now) fell into this trap where they would go all out for a girl, thinking she's special and somehow long for the same sentiment in return. It never happens. You shouldn't have let the no-show happen. It should have ended right there and then.

Don't EVER let anyone treat you like a door mat. Don't EVER let yourself to be treated like a doormat.

RSS
 

Lurker 123

High Maintenance Member
Jul 23, 2003
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realslimshady said:
One thing I learned about relationship ... with SPs or otherwise, is that if you make the other feel like she can walk all over you. It's over. Some guys (i.e. me ... I am smarter now) fell into this trap where they would go all out for a girl, thinking she's special and somehow long for the same sentiment in return. It never happens. You shouldn't have let the no-show happen. It should have ended right there and then.

Don't EVER let anyone treat you like a door mat. Don't EVER let yourself to be treated like a doormat.

RSS
Good advice ! Lots of truth in it!
 

threepeat

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Sep 20, 2004
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She may have truly enjoyed your company, but just was so messed up in other aspects of her life that regular courtesies were not on her radar screen. That's why knowing SPs on a personal level, even as a friend, can be a bit of a minefield.

If she had any feelings for you over and above that of a client, she will probably call you back, and respect you more for having stood up for yourself.

Unless she wants money, that is. Gotta watch out for that...
 

n2supersymmetry

On IL - Season Over
Oct 24, 2005
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I think the important lesson to learn from your experience is while knowing personal info (the good and the bad) about an sp can lead to a more intimate and satisfying experience, never forget that you pay good money to see an sp precisely because you do not want to deal with those problems during your contact with her.
 
S

Smother

Avarice said:
You'd be surprised how many SP's actually 'hate' seeing clients but have the most stellar, rave reviews.

Some are great actresses and some just plain love it. :cool:
Are you one of them??
 

totravel

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May 21, 2004
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I think it was more a case of her not wanting to say "no, I can't see you because of other comittments", and she (mistakenly as it turned out) thought it was better to try to fit you in (failing miserably).
Also, she continued this behaviour because you never objected early on ("I'd heard this 200 times over the last 2 years"). You needed to say THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED that it was important that she respect YOUR TIME.
The fact that she repaid your loan indicates she respected you, but just had a misguided way of showing it.
 

hitrack

I'LL KILL YA ALL!!
Feb 25, 2003
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Sounds like no real harm done, you just got jerked around by someone who is to flakey and to much drama to be reliable. There is no way in a 1000 years that two people, one with a drama level of 10 and the other (you) with a drama level of -1 can mesh.

Bail on her and say "oh well, hope ya get your shit together one day"
 

gravitas

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Feb 7, 2006
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curmudgeon said:
Truth be told, I had real feelings for this girl. Every time she told me about her latest crisis, I'd offer to help. I offered do anything within my means to help her, and I never expected anything in return.
That in itself was a good enough reason for you to have walked away. What you described is something, that seeming only for you and not her, had progressed beyond the SP/client relationship and IMO you were only going to get hurt or fucked over.


Ilovethemall said:
Would anyone give a flyng fuck about this?
Cheese


hitrack said:
Sounds like no real harm done,
Yup, which makes it perfect time to pill the pin.
 

curmudgeon

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At this point, it's all pointless speculation as to why.

Its over, it's done.

But to be clear, yes, I had feelings for this girl, and it's pretty clear (with hindsight) that she didn't really respect me.

And really, there was no real harm done. She could taken advantage of my feelings, and used me to be her little servant. And she knows she could have. But she never did.

The one time that I loaned her money, it was offered without prompting. And she paid me back, in full, just 2 months later.

I was tempted to vent my spleen on her voicemail today. But I won't. There's nothing to be gained.

I truly hope she gets her act together. She's a good person at heart. I'm at peace with it all, and I harbor no ill regard.

We did have fun. And that's what I want to take away from it.
 

Randy Whorewald

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Sep 20, 2005
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Kind of makes it seem like this:

 

pickupjoe

New member
Jan 11, 2003
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Yup, like I said in a post before and repeat partly again.
So to some of SP's, don’t count on us regs as sure money if you take us for granted and like some door mat. Think back and hard why some of us regs aren’t returning your messages anymore?
 

forcethe1

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Apr 7, 2006
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She was just playing you when she need your cash but if there was better cash around yours meant nothing dont feel bad buddy theres dailup everywhere and always remember your paying them to be there so there is no feelings
 
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