More New Years resolutions: There's hope for "good girls" after all
Just found an e-mail from
i-Village Health in my inbox, with the headline
"15 Naughty Resolutions Good Girls Should Make!"
Normally I'd delete this stuff as spam...but I've a burning interest in converting "good girls" into the kind of naughty vixens with whom a guy can have fun. So I printed out their list of 15 naughty resolutions.
There're some ideas here that actually could make some civvies less excruciatingly boring. You might want to discuss this list with your SO—I know I will.
Naughty Resolutions Good Girls Should Make! (I've edited out distracting quote attributions)
http://www.ivillage.com/spice-thing...olutions-list/4-b-511291?nlcid=wh|01-02-2013|
If you're usually nice in the bedroom, try spicing it up this year with this resolutions list. Even the naughty have room for improvement.
1. This Year, I Will… Ask For What I Want: Don't be afraid to be more verbal. Resolutions are all about being proactive. If you have a fantasy, then speak up and take responsibility for your own pleasure. Realize your desires and communicate them to your partner. Communication is key. People don’t talk enough about sex when they’re with someone but this is exactly how you can guarantee a more fulfilling sex life. Talk about your desires, wants, needs and fantasies. Be open about it -- this includes dirty talk. Don’t be embarrassed to say something on your mind while you are having sex.
Whether it's an emotional connection you want -- or something more kinky -- it's never wrong to speak up. The first step to getting what you want is identifying it and then asking for it.
2. This Year, I Will… Stop Over-Thinking Things: Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in your thoughts and insecurities, but that can be a total mood killer in the bedroom. It's important to turn off that inner monologue.
Focus on your guy and what your bodies are doing. Make a pact with yourself to stop thinking about that memo you have to write for work, what you’re going to have for breakfast tomorrow, and especially what your guy is thinking. You won’t be able to read his mind no matter how hard you try, so save yourself the trouble. If your mind wanders during sex, he will probably notice and get insecure, and everything will fall apart. Stop the madness before it starts by turning off your brain and turning on your body.
3. This Year, I Will… Find Myself Sexy: It's true what they say. "You can't love someone else until you love yourself, and you can't fully enjoy sex with someone else until you enjoy it with yourself!" Up your sexual ante this year by making a resolution to find something new that turns you on just for you. It could be a Brazilian bikini wax, crotchless panties under a business suit, or a new “toy.” Enjoy your new source of pleasure and then see how it translates into even more pleasure with your man.
And don't forget: You are gorgeous and sexy and powerful and you have a beautiful womanly body and this guy is lucky to have an opportunity to see you in your birthday suit. Don’t you dare get self-conscious about your body! If you tell your man not to look at you or are only willing do it in a pitch-black room under the sheets, it's time to stop. You are hot and you have nothing to apologize for. Your man wants to have sex with you, and that means that he is attracted to you, so let it all go and let yourself enjoy the moment. Nothing is sexier than that.
4. This Year, I Will… Lead: Sounds intimidating, but you've already voiced what you want -- now take matters into your own hands (literally).
You don't have to throw your guy against the wall and initiate everything (unless you’re into that) but you shouldn't lie there like a rag doll, either. It takes two to tango, and it’s not all up to the man to make the sex good. You have to perform, too. Take a little bit of control and help guide things in the right direction. You have the power to make this experience memorable and delightful for both of you.
5. This Year, I Will… Extend the Foreplay: Ever hear the cliché "give and you will receive"? Well, it's true when it comes to foreplay and those moments before sex. It's important to be giving and compassionate in all of your relationships, both emotionally and physically because what comes around goes around.
This includes more foreplay, more teasing and more flirting. If you're not getting the foreplay you need from your partner, and most women require foreplay to get in the mood, you should start by taking more time to undress each other. Tease each other and do everything three times slower that you think you should. You can also suggest taking a shower together, asking for a foot rub or just a long hug. Women need time to get their motors running and it's imperative to ask for it. Men want to know what turns you on and will be happy to hear you asking for what you need.
6. This Year, I Will… Learn Some New Tricks: It's very easy to fall into a routine when it comes to sex -- you know what we're talking about. Missionary, again? Something as simple as making it a goal to try a new position every month can really rev things up.
Pick positions from "mild-to-wild" as the months go by. Start with a small tweak to a favorite, and save a new grand-finale position for December. Don't know where to start? Pick from over 100 position ideas in
Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking. http://www.amazon.com/Cowgirl-Position-Secrets-Better-Bucking/dp/0970661134
7. This Year, I Will… Make-Out More: Remember how hot it was back in high school when you would make out for hours in the backseat of your boyfriend's car? Those hot make out sessions don’t have to be a thing of the past. Kissing is the first thing that goes in long term relationships so try prolonging those steamy make out sessions and commit to more passionate foreplay.
Need help achieving that Notebook-worthy makeout session? Keep things interesting by roughing it up or using some mint lip balm.
The more excited one gets, the higher their pain threshold grows so don’t be afraid to get a little aggressive with your kisses during sex. Bite each other’s lips and tug at each other’s hair to release feel-good endorphins. Then to top it off, take a nibble at the nipple. Or for some spine-tingling chills, swipe on some mint lip balm or take a small swig of seltzer or champagne before planting one on him. The menthol from your lip balm will electrify your kiss and the fizz from the liquid will produce a new pleasant effect.
8. This Year, I Will… Have Sex On Every Surface: Nothing spices things up like an unexpected location. Find new places and surfaces on which you and your partner can have a sex escapade.
Bonus points if you can get to 69 by the year's end, and if you do, you win making love in your bed! How’s that for incentive? Making it into a game with rewards will make the whole thing a little more exhilarating.
9. This Year, I Will… Get Dirty in Public: Doing the dirty in public has always been seen as taboo, but oh-so-exhilarating.
Dr. Sadie's preferred location? "Have sex on the beach! Sneak into a private secluded beach, or go early in the morning or late at night to avoid crowds. Bring an extra blanket to cover yourselves -- or a tent, and don’t scream too loud!"
10. This Year, I Will… Do My Sexercises: Kegel exercises can give women stronger orgasms and it only takes 5 minutes a day. Try the Kegel Camp iPhone app. It will remind you to do your exercises every day, and get you one step closer to achieving that real Big "O"!
11. This Year, I Will… Initiate (and Win!) an Orgasm Race: Next time you're feeling competitive, why not have a masturbation race? Doing something competitive with your man will help get both of your adrenaline's running and really set the mood.
Lie side by side or sit across from each other with your favorite lubes and ready, set, go! Who ever wins has to assist the loser in climaxing and the "winner" gets to have the "loser" do something sexy when they're ready to go again!
If you have a partner who takes a particularly long time to orgasm, let them use a vibrator.
12. This Year, I Will… Challenge My Adrenaline: A good activity to try together: indoor rock-climbing.
Not only will you get energized with the excitement of doing something new, it will also be a great challenge for both of you to do together. Your adrenaline will be pumping and you’ll feel pride and accomplishment as you take turns assisting each other scale the wall. This activity lends itself to a stronger, sexy bond between you two as the mental connection heightens with the necessary trust in each other that is required as your lover controls your safety rope.
Of course, any extreme-ish activity like this will work.
13. This Year, I Will… Go on a Spa Date: When you come out after a good jacuzzi soaking, your skin will be so soft, supple, glowing and clean -- not to mention smooth like a baby’s butt. Hop right in to bed when you get home and cuddle and rub up on each other like there’s no tomorrow. This’ll start off the year with some of the best connecting and cuddling ever. Cuddling is just as important as sex and can sometimes be overlooked.
14. This Year, I Will... Take a Sexy Field Trip Together: In today’s upscale couple’s boutiques, you can often find sextoys on display, batteried up for your testing enjoyment. Pick them out together for more fun.
Pick ‘em out together, see how the fabric feels, turn ‘em on, feel the vibes on your hands. Pay close attention to your lover’s reactions and when you see glimmers of smiles and twinkles in eyes, that may be the toy to buy!
15. This Year, I Will… Treat Myself for Every Resolution I Keep: For every resolution you keep, treat yourself to something you've wanted outside of the bedroom. Of course, achieving any of these naughty goals is a reward in itself, but knowing you will receive something else gives you that much more motivation to stay on track. Go splurge on those so-necessary new pumps -- and show them off with nothing else on!
