New GF told me she has herpes on 2nd date!!!!

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
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Had the nerve to ask out this cute 20 something woman...after feeling some chemistry at her workplace. We had a great 1st date and ended up making out for 20 minutes before I had to head out, due to shift at work.


Anyhow, we talked everyday all week then on our second date, we were sitting at a bar, candle light, she lives just 3 blocks away,and I could sense I was going to bang her...then she said, "I have to be honest with you...if this relationship is to continue, I have to let you know I have herpes...":eek:

My jaw dropped to say the least and I told her I am okay with it. I obviously didn't bother going back to her place that night and I stopped calling her...


Am I evil for caring about my own Health?
 

nickcan

Active member
Nov 6, 2011
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You have sex with escorts and herpes is stopping you from having sex with this girl?
Wrap it up and obviously no BBBJ's until her cold sores have healed unless it's type II on her vagina?
 

Unpossible

A.C.A.B.
Dec 26, 2008
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She should have told you before any physical stuff happened.
 

Holly Taylor

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May 27, 2007
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I completely support your right to choose your sex partners and to decide on the level of risk you are willing to take with your sex partners.

I do feel bad for this woman, though. She's taking the ethical route even though she must get a lot of rejection as a result.

I think it would be nice if you sent her a message just to let her know that you're sorry, but the information changes how you feel about pursuing a relationship with her. I'm sure she already knows that this is the reason you stopped calling, but it might make her feel better to hear it from you rather than have complete silence on your end.

Best of luck with an awkward situation!
 

jesuschrist

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Aug 26, 2007
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You could always use condoms and a dental dam when you eat her pussy, and she could just give you oral without a condom.
 

wilde

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Jun 4, 2003
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BYSON

No Gunt
Oct 7, 2003
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Well she was honest with you. I can see how you didnt want to continue, this is a tricky one go with your gut on this one, if she dont have a current outbreak and you use protection it should be fine.
 

deleted Miss Lux

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Nov 12, 2010
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No but you are an asshole for not having the guts to tell her the truth...
I agree... She was straight up with you, the least you can do is be straight up with her. On average, 1 in 3 or 4 people have it, so chances are, you've come into contact with it before. Consider her a pretty awesome chick for having the courage to let you know... Doesn't mean you're a jerk for choosing against it, but return the respect :)

xoxo Lux
 

Unpossible

A.C.A.B.
Dec 26, 2008
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No but you are an asshole for not having the guts to tell her the truth...
She knows the truth. In fact she knew the truth before she madeout with ITB...but he`s the asshole amiright!?:eyebrows:
 

Sonny

Senior Member
Sep 12, 2004
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A lot of folks have herpes simplex II virus, even many who don't know they have it since they are carriers but not manifesters. Then there are those who think the outbreaks are merely some kind of recurring rash.

A close friend of mine was diagnosed with herpes decades ago, and what I write here is based on his experience and research. None of his significant others have contracted this STI from him during the entire time.

While herpes is no joke, it is not the dire calamity that many make it out to be.

After its initial outbreak passes, subsequent outbreaks are usually quite noticeable and tend to periodically manifest in specific areas (often the low back area and not usually the genitals in these subsequent arisings). While technically capable of being passed at any time by skin contact, the actuality is that transmission risk occurs primarily when there is an outbreak present. Reasonable care can reduce the likelihood of transmission. Doctors report that passing between monogamous folks is quite rare. Taking the same approach with everyone should have similar results.

Apparently, taking the amino acid L-Lysine regularly and avoiding foods containing the amino acid Arginine, such as peanuts, reduces the basis for reoccurences. Serious or prolonged stress is also a contributing factor.

Folks with herpes are not lepers. The girl was open, direct and honest. She deserved the same in return. Her comment was to inform you of a situation and that care should and would be taken.

This is not HEP-C or HIV. Why the panic?
 

Big Dog Striker

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Nov 17, 2007
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She sounds like a very cool honest lady and herpes is something that can be managed safely so it doesn't get passed on. Hope she finds someone she deserves, it doesn't seem like you are it!
You see the hotties of beautiful Vancouver are COOL!! :thumb:
 

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
3,045
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ITB you're a miserable SOB! You finally found someone that makes you happy and you run like a little Biotch because she has herpes? You owe her a phone call and what's wrong with being friends if you decide not to persue sex because of her situation?

Looks like you and LAG are together for a reason :nod:
So much hatred on this thread towards me...not just you Hunka!!:fear:

You guys and gals should be congratulating me...for being honest and sharing my life experiences on this board!! Instead, you trash me and treat me like toilet paper that is barely worth using!!!! You know...the brand that burns your ass when you use it!!!:pound:

Just to make you "sheeple" happy, I sent her a text and told her about my concerns. All I got back was an OK...

Maybe I waited too long and she is just dissing me or expecting me to do more...???:doh:

I am moving on...:cool:
 

sonoman

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May 14, 2005
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Folks with herpes are not lepers. The girl was open, direct and honest. She deserved the same in return. Her comment was to inform you of a situation and that care should and would be taken.
Agreed.

Why not continue the relationship (in a non-physical manner) for a while to decide if you see any future in it?
 

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
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Agreed.

Why not continue the relationship (in a non-physical manner) for a while to decide if you see any future in it?
I simply don't want herpes...if I can avoid it!!! Secondly, I really don't hang out with women, unless sex is involved or a desired end "goal!":clap2::pound:
 

Alix Turner

Member
Apr 27, 2011
433
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I completely support your right to choose your sex partners and to decide on the level of risk you are willing to take with your sex partners.

I do feel bad for this woman, though. She's taking the ethical route even though she must get a lot of rejection as a result.

I think it would be nice if you sent her a message just to let her know that you're sorry, but the information changes how you feel about pursuing a relationship with her. I'm sure she already knows that this is the reason you stopped calling, but it might make her feel better to hear it from you rather than have complete silence on your end.

Best of luck with an awkward situation!
I think this is an awesome reply, and by far the classiest way to show someone you appreciate honesty by showing some consideration back. I'm really glad you said this Holly.
 

lawrence8

Member
Dec 10, 2009
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Just to make you "sheeple" happy, I sent her a text and told her about my concerns. All I got back was an OK...

Maybe I waited too long and she is just dissing me or expecting me to do more...???:doh:

I am moving on...:cool:
Yes, you waited too long. When a lady has the courage to confide such personal info, she is prepared for whatever response you have, be it good or bad. She feels you are someone who can be open and at the very least, be upfront about the situation instead of running away. Your initial response is the worse possible response to any person, be it your SO or even just a friend.
 

chilli

Member
Jul 25, 2005
994
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So much hatred on this thread towards me...not just you Hunka!!:fear:

You guys and gals should be congratulating me...for being honest and sharing my life experiences on this board!! Instead, you trash me and treat me like toilet paper that is barely worth using!!!! You know...the brand that burns your ass when you use it!!!:
Wait, didn't you tell everyone last week you tested positive for a STD.

When did you get retested to make sure it was gone?

Did you tell her?


I think you're a drama queen looking for attention you didn't get from your mommy.
 

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
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Wait, didn't you tell everyone last week you tested positive for a STD.

When did you get retested to make sure it was gone?

Did you tell her?


I think you're a drama queen looking for attention you didn't get from your mommy.
Ya, I told her about my illness and that is when she opened up. I felt like if I had never mentioned it, she would have never of told me she has herpes! :eek:

I told her my symtoms are gone, and she can't catch it anyways...plus, she already has it...it never goes away...
 

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
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I don't hate you ITB, was just basically stating in a nice way....What you did was a P*ssy move that lacked class, tact, compassion and human decency. How else do does one learn from his/her mistakes when they are clueless? :pound:
You are one big righteous yuppy suck hole!!!:D
 
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